first time i have hung out with my best friends in a while and had some what of an enlightening conversation. i missed them so much. time to go back to the good ol days. if they were ever even good i suppose in retro spect. but more of the acknowledgement that once upon a time i actually was happy. and it was with them. and we are all makin a cautious attempt to get back to how we once were. i could not be happier. in all reality , i think being single. or at least being on my own, mingling or not. will be the best medicine for me. it has been too fucking long since i was able to be like, ay i am happy and enjoy what is happening in my life right now. i am sick of letting people…well the boys i have dated bring me down, and make me loose sight of my goals, and the person i want to be. it is not a big step but it is progression. and tomorrow we are starting, and i can not wait for our sleep over and just another general night of being with the people who once completed me as a whole. i lost sight of them. and maybe even pushed away. but there defiantly was a reason we were even friends to begin with. and i feel now more then ever, that maybe, just maybe, we might finally be getting back to how we use to be. and i hope that just like jasmine said that in 5 years from now. we do have better experiences to talk about. i can not handle saying any more just oh i have been here just kickin it like usual. i need to fucking live. i need to fucking find the things in life i enjoy. i need to be happy. i need to lose weight and be the person i feel and know i can be.